Fear of success and failure
** Warning **
Please complete the tazkiyah consultation before reading this article, for best effect.
Talk about going round in circles!
I’ve yet to meet someone who is afraid of failure who isn’t afraid of success. And vice-versa. Now think about that for a moment.
Afraid of two polar opposites.
Thinking ? lol
…OK. Well, let me tell you. That means that they’re stuck. They won’t take a step forward cos they’re afraid of success and they won’t take a step back because they’re afraid of failure. And they disapprove of themselves for staying still because that’s failure too !
So they loose control by getting all frustrated which makes them hate themselves and their feelings (lack of approval). What’s worse is that all of this malarkey (as they say in Scotland) IS failure !
So they now feel even worse about themselves for being a failure. WITHOUT realising that they have tasted failure without dying. Maybe there isn’t anything to be afraid of/about… ?
But they don’t realise that. Due to a lack of control.
Fear of Disappointment
This is tied to the above except that it’s propelled by the lack of approval as opposed to the lack of security.
Some people are so harsh on themselves that they fear (lack of security) what they will do to themselves if they fail. They fear all of those negative feelings (lack of approval) that they will inflict upon themselves if they fail.
And instead of deciding not to inflict themselves, they decide not to try. Which is a big disappointment. Which means they get to feel those feelings anyway !
MINUS the learning/experience that they would have attained in the process of actually trying THEN failing. (As opposed to failing because they didn’t try)
Which would have made it more likely that they would succeed the next time they tried.
All of this leads to:
Not Achieving Goals
In fact. It’s worse than that. It leads to them not even having/setting goals !
In the “Whims-I-Kill” program (the 1st program launched by iPersonalEnrichment) we don’t tackle goals until month 5. First people have to shed their issues around success/failure, their comfort zones and how they think of themselves.
Then. They can begin to think about goals.
Starting with goals and most of the times it just adds to the chaos. Unfortunately many well intentioned people/sites advise this. (the doors to the program are closed, but if you’ve subscribed to the newsletter, you’ll be notified when they next open)
Intro about whims:
There are three types of whims that generate all our desires/feelings and problems.
Each whim is both a want and a lack at the same time. I explain more about this in the newsletter.
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