** Warning **
Please complete the tazkiyah consultation before reading this article, for best effect.
Many of the people that took the tazkiyah consultation reported that they feared loosing their loved ones. Some of them had lost a loved. Their father for example. At a young age. But also. Many had not lost anyone.
Many mothers report fearing the death of their children or partner. What would they do ?
Though this might seem quite natural. The problem is that this was their answer to the question: “what attachments do you have for dunya (this life)?” So, this is more of an incessant worry, than a normal reply to the question: “how would you feel if you lost x or y?”
These answers are symptomatic of a lack/wanting of security.
Here I have to explain that the word lack isn’t just used to explain the non-existence of something. It is also used to mean creating-a-lack. Even if only at the emotional level.
So, regardless of whether you’ve lost someone before or not. Those that are alive are alive. It’s just anecdotal to think that because you lost someone previously, that you should worry about it happening again.
The exact opposite is true. If you ‘lost’ someone, then you should stop worrying about loosing those who are still around and instead focus on living with them and loving them.
If you did that properly, you would have no time or space left for worrying about their loss.
It’s a huge lack of control issue also. Why waste the precious opportunities that you have with them. Why waste them worrying.
It also creates a lack of approval. People unconsciously react to that obsessive need by feeling encaged or enslaved. It can be quite suffocating. This doesn’t always happen, but it does happen often enough.
Also, logically speaking. What difference does it make whether you go first or they do ? It’s all the same really. It means that you won’t be spending time with them.
As you release your whims, you become clearer and your capacity to love those dearest to you increases. You are liberated from your fears and instead have the freedom to live. You also realise that you haven’t ‘lost’ them/a-thing.
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