** Warning **
Please complete the tazkiyah consultation before reading this article, for best effect.
Comfort zones are strange. They’re comfortable for a while, but they’re also uncomfortable. They’re comfortable because we think they’re safe. That’s wrong of course. I’ve heard many ‘motivational’ speakers and life coaches. Almost all of them say that people stay in their comfort zone because it’s safe. It’s not. And that’s not true !
It doesn’t even feel that way most of the time. And they’re not comfortable because of this thing that I’m sure you have experienced. It’s called boredom !
Why do people feel bored if they’re in their comfort zone ?!
Why do people go seeking crazy excitement and adventure ?!
The comfort zone isn’t all that comfortable. The problem is that because people are stuck in their lack of security whim, as they come to leave the comfort zone, they feel insecure.
So the insecurity of leaving makes the comfort zone feel comfortable BY CONTRAST. It’s not actually comfortable in-and-of-itself, or else people wouldn’t feel bored or insignificant. Part of being in your comfort zone is feeling that you have too much time. Feeling that death is a long time away.
Again, this is symptomatic of the lacking security whim. When we are scared of something, we don’t look at it. In fact, we don’t even think about it. And sometimes, we pretend that it doesn’t exist or that it won’t happen for ages.
Also, the term ‘too much time’ is so inaccurate. Time is the one thing that everyone has. And it’s the one truly scarce commodity.
It’s actually the one thing you can’t have too much of !
And ironically, the more time you think you have the less time you practically have. Meaning, the less you do with your time. So you might as well not have had it !
See how your whims run circles around you ?!
Symptoms of this whim are spending too much time on the internet, distracting yourself, buying new toys to entertain yourself and to further deny the truth. The new car. The new necklace. iPhone. iPad etc.
Regarding the lack of approval. People only approve of their comfort zone the second it expands. And that doesn’t last very long. So when you buy that new car, you’re actually expanding your comfort zone. It feels good. I know you probably thought that it was the car that made you feel good, right ?
Wronnnnng ! If it was, then why don’t you feel as good 5 years later about your car ? It’s the same car, therefore it’s ability to make you feel good should be just the same. It isn’t.
So your good feelings actually come from the expansion of your comfort zone. Same good feelings that come from finished a task you procrastinated about for ages. So you’re actually always balancing between the perceived (meaning it’s false) insecurity of moving out of your comfort zone and between wanting to feel good by expanding it.
Oh. I forgot to mention. As you release your whim of lacking security, you begin to realise that you can’t really ever leave your comfort zone. You just expand it. Then you can always feel good and safe.
As for the lack of control. None of the above are actions of someone in control, are they ?!
Intro about whims:
There are three types of whims that generate all our desires/feelings and problems. Each whim is both a want and a lack at the same time. I explain more about this in the newsletter.
If you don’t know or haven’t figured it out, the three whims are:
- lacking/wanting control
- lacking/wanting approval
- lacking/wanting security
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